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day 9
so just to be clear here, before the bbs thing started, we only were getting one letter a day. I was definitely between using it for you and sending hate mail. I think you can guess which one I ended up picking there.
but hey now I can send as many as I want woohoo
But, no, I do want to be serious here, Elizabeth. Like, actual proper capitalization and grammar and stuff, so you know it's serious? Actually, maybe not, since just from talking to you, you might not be up on the texting social cues. Whatever. I'm totally rambling because 1) that's what I do 2) not sure how to express this super well, so.
I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I should've listened to you.
but hey now I can send as many as I want woohoo
But, no, I do want to be serious here, Elizabeth. Like, actual proper capitalization and grammar and stuff, so you know it's serious? Actually, maybe not, since just from talking to you, you might not be up on the texting social cues. Whatever. I'm totally rambling because 1) that's what I do 2) not sure how to express this super well, so.
I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I should've listened to you.
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Elizabeth's pretty vulnerable and seeing something that hints to the betrayals she's had here - it's opening wounds. ]
I can't blame you, not fully.
I was prepared to use you and the others to do my dirty work, wasn't I? To make you all risk getting out. Beauty, brains, and brawn, but I'd rather not use the last if I can help it.
... I'm sorry I didn't stop him.
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of course super honest here probably should've seen that one coming in retrospect. like if the guy was obsessed with future me that's some kind of genocidal lunatic of course there was going to be something wrong with him
I can't really say "it's okay" for that last part since... Hell, it was awful. But I don't think you could've. I dunno if that's any comfort but I'm pretty sure that's how that was always going to end. Rhys was always going to kill me. Don't think that was the plan from the start exactly but yeah after sending some hatemail, I'm pretty sure it was inevitable.
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We'll see. I think the noose is tightening, but I'm tying my loose ends. I don't want to be taken out, but I think I've helped assisted as much as I can.
...You know, I've died before. It's still fuzzy, but... maybe it's not as bad as I'd think. I use to believe doing good in your life would reward you in the afterlife and something - I don't know what - stopped me from thinking that. But, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with doing good?
...I know the target painted on me now. It's unavoidable and I hope that something I've done here will keep people safe.
It's not okay. This entire ordeal isn't okay. But, you know what? I learned a long time ago that life isn't fair. Life isn't meant to have the sword-wielding hero win the damsel and save the kingdom. Life has variables no one can expect and even I knew that. Growing up, I wanted a puppy as badly as I want to see the sun right now but if that's not in the cards, I can either fold or play until I win. There's only two sides of a coin here.
...But I don't hate you. I do feel pity for you, such as with your own seemingly selfish choices. I've done them as well. I don't know Rhys and honestly? I don't know you. We all couldn't have anticipated what would have happened. If it was inevitable, I hope there's something left for you.
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Which if you don't want to tell me or I'm totally off base there, I get it. Just asking because if so, I feel like I get what you're talking about there with variables. If you have one good card, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to get that better hand. Especially if you know how it uh... ends, I guess. Normally I'd question how it's possible that you could've died but that would be kind of weird to question considering you're talking to a dead man. Plus, I think I have an idea.
But hey, selfishly here, I'm glad to hear that. I mean, maybe not the pity, but that's just because I'm still pissed at myself for being enough of an idiot where I would get myself into this kind of situation. A week isn't a long time to get to know someone, but grim as it might be, I'm kinda feeling that if you (or anyone else) shows up here we might be here for the long haul. So if you do show up? Which I hope you don't, obviously, but if you do, we'll take that as a second chance to actually know each other if you're cool with that.
As for the last part there, ehhhhhh. Kind of, and also not. I'm not deciding on that part until I can kick Rhys's ass myself. Since if he doesn't friggin die I'm going to be PISSED. fucking asshole. sorry about the language but goddamn it is TRUE
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I don't feel like it matters much, I fear. Yes, I was working against the scientists, but no... I don't know why. It was something I should have been able to turn the tide with, but we're all disconnected. All of the other six... I had one person I could rely on. I pray for them to remain alive if anything happens to me. With the threat of that man still out there... I don't doubt that s questionable.
It's a long story, Jack. Maybe we could talk about it over drinks. Wouldn't that have been nice? :)
I don't think I'll forget the look you gave me before you died any time soon... I feel like I had failed you, mainly because I was not willing to show my cards as quickly as Franziska did.
I wouldn't mind it... there's a high chance I'll be joining you. That "asshole" as you call him seemed very determined to get what he wanted.
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Yeah for sure. If uh you do end up here, I think that's doable. on me, and strictly friendly, since for one, buying a girl a drink has a certain implication right, but two, don't think "pay" actually matters here anyways so eh. if you want to talk about that I'll admit I'm super curious but if not it's cool. but hey if that doesn't pan out (and I'm hoping it doesn't here considering what "pan out" means)
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this is my attempt at a toast through email, so don't laugh too much
[ in case there was any question of how lame jack is ]
and don't blame yourself for me being here kiddo. I know who I'm blaming but it's also like... This will probably get redacted but me and Rhys, before all of this, we did know each other. [ CONTENT REDACTED ] So that's why I'm sure it would've happened anyways. I just didn't remember. do now and it SUCKS because weirdly the not remembering was way better
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... Ha ha ha. :) That is cute. I have never seen art like that, but it does the job. Very simplistic, straight-forward. ...Strictly friendly it is, mister. Perish the thought of anything more. Remember how well that worked last time? Send me one of those drinks every day if I don't join you, I may need them.
Right, there was some time messiness involved, was there not? I just wish... I just wish that we could have been able to have another detection sooner. Ah... wishing doesn't get us anywhere... Jack, as much as I would like to scorn you for being absolutely ridiculous with your choices - ... you're not the only one. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't accept my own.
..So you get a free pass. One.
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Yeah I'm still trying to forget that one... But sure, ASCII martini glass it is every day. Hell, I might get more creative and toss in some variety. I've got all the time in the world to be super cool and definitely not lame at all right
Something like that, yeah. The memory thing is... screwy. More than I thought. Because I remember what I'd forgotten now, even including my friggin daughter but that's also complicated. So. That aside, I'll take it. I feel like to be fair to both of us here, given the situation, probably weren't very many good choices right?